Thursday, June 29, 2006


Tonight I was sitting in my living room watching tv. All of a sudden I felt like I was watching a 3D Pixar movie. Something swooped down & flew at my head. It seemed to be the size of a 747 (or at least as big as a sparrow)! I jumped out of my chair & tried to see what it was. I couldn't find anything. How could something so big, just disappear?!? I went to get a flyswatter in case it decided to fly again. About 90 minutes later, I spotted it crawling up on the wall. It's a good thing I happened to be testing my heartrate monitor. My rate just rose from 82 to 141 after my epic battle with what turned out to be a GIGANTIC palmetto bug. It was massive & didn't think I could harm it with a mere fly swatter (size-wise, I equate it to smacking a Shaquille O'Neal size human with a number 2 pencil! I wacked it once, it fell then scampered under the chair & tv stand. I moved a tote bag & it came out & started charging aggressively towards my bare feet. I screamed twice (I hope no one called the police). I don't know what scared me charging at me or the thought of it not being dead, but still being in the apt. I NEVER would have been able to sleep, knowing it was a palmetto. I later found out that the maintenance men were working on my patio & must have left my front door open to let it inside.

Odds are, if you live in Florida, you have encountered a Palmetto Bug or two. What are they? Essentially, a cockroach. Not your everyday, average size cockroach; no, we're talking two or three inches long. You may think cockroaches are gross, but the experience is much more vivid when all the gory details are magnified. They have a tough armored shell, so you can't even squish them. And they know it; palmetto bugs generally don't seem to give a damn if you step on them or not, they know it won't hurt them. Step on one and you're lucky if you get its attention. They also aren't afraid of the light like most normal cockroaches. Here's the worst part about palmetto bugs: they can fly. Yes, you heard me. Giant flying cockroaches that you can't easily crush. YIKES!!! (You must be wondering why I didn't take a picture for my blog. I'll take one after it comes back the taxidermist ... just kidding!).

1 comment:

nyctreeman said...

Floridians get very insulted when you call them cockroaches :P